So, David promised this to Saul with an oath. Then Saul went home, but David and his men went back to their stronghold.

1 Samuel 24:22

Many times, a person repents and claims to recognize their sinful ways just like Saul did. But the validity of repentance and a changed heart isn’t demonstrated by the emotion or sincerity of a moment. It is demonstrated by the ongoing direction of one’s life and David had every right to say, “I’m going to stay in the stronghold until I see the direction of Saul’s life.”

“What a miserable picture Saul is! What is the use of saying, ‘I have played the fool,’ if he goes on playing the fool? What use are his tears and confession before David if he doesn’t act upon his remorse?” - Alan Redpath

“I’m sorry,” isn’t enough.

The offender who wants to be in a restored relationship with the person he/she offended:

• Demonstrate sorry through behavior modification.
• Devote myself to the Lord in prayer and His Word.
• Dig deep into the cause of my behavior through Christian counseling.

Proven changed behavior evidenced by a right relationship with the Lord, still may not be enough to restore the broken relationship with the person you offended. The permanence of the broken relationship is the lasting consequence of the sin. God always forgives the sin, but doesn’t remove the consequence.

Caution to the offender.

• “Emotion that does not lead to action only leads deeper into sin and rebellion.” - Alan Redpath

To the offended: Stay in the stronghold of:

• Christ, to experience His protection and love.
• His Word, to take in His wisdom, instruction, and discernment.
• Fellowship of godly friends, to receive His comfort and care.

He kept Saul from finding David.

David now stayed in the strongholds of the wilderness and in the hill country of Ziph. Saul hunted him day after day, but God didn’t let Saul find him.
1 Samuel 23:14

What enemy has God kept from finding me?

Respond correctly if I am the offender. Stay in the stronghold if I am offended.

Learn from Saul, and from David.